I want to talk to the menfolk for a moment.
You and I have heard this joke more times than is necessary. A man who may or may not be the movie’s comedic relief (or one of them anyway) breaks down, exasperated, and yells “Where’s the clitoris? I can’t find it!?” or something to that effect. Hilarity presumably ensues.
I am here to tell you that you don’t have to be that guy. Travel with me down the vulva-shaped rabbit hole to the clitoris. We’re going to make you an expert (or at least informed), so you can go back home to your lady and give her all the delicious stimulation your fingers, tongue and cock can muster.
What the Clitoris Is (And Where to Find it)
What the Clit Is Not
I didn’t realize this needed to be said, but the clitoris is – without question– not in the vagina.
What the Clit Is
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let me tell y’all about the magic that is the clitoris. First, that cute little button you are looking for is nestled at the top of the pussy lips – the labia minora – right beneath the pointed clitoral hood. It often comes out to play when your lady is aroused as the blood rushing to the flood of sensation causes it to swell (not unlike your own penis).
Second, that “little” nub of flesh is actually just the tip of the iceberg in a larger, wishbone-shaped structure that extends the length of your lady’s vulva on both sides. And that whole structure is intricately hard-wired to receive massive amounts of sensation.
The small circle of flesh at the top, however, is the most ready to pack a verifiable punch of pleasure with over 8,000 nerve endings centered in that single spot alone.
So now you know what the clitoris is and have a pretty good idea of where to find it. But what are you going to do when you get there?
Treat Her Right, She Ain’t a Piece of Meat
In the wise words of Monty Python, let’s not stampede toward the clitoris. The clitoris is designed to take in a large amount of sensation, but that doesn’t mean that all sensation is pleasurable.
Rubbing your lady’s clitoris raw – especially when she’s not already wet and craving your touch – is a great way to hurt the sensitive organ. It’s also a great way to ensure you and her clit don’t meet again for a while.
Remember that however knowledgeable you might become about her anatomy, that clit is firmly attached to your lady’s body, not yours. Act accordingly.
Temper that eagerness to show your partner all you now know about her clitoris, and focus on making sure you’ve got her relaxed and in the mood to play first.
Once she’s ready, let your fingers (or whatever) slide on down to that sweet pussy and give her the business.
Ask questions about what your lady likes. Does she like it when you flick your tongue across it? What if you slowly lap at it? Would she like it if you slap it gently? Harder? Or, would she rather a smooth sensual massage? Does she like it rubbed fast or slow?
When she gives you an answer, do what she says as soon as she says it. It will show that you are actively listening to her and minding her needs. Not only that, but it will show your eagerness to please her.
As a tasty side bonus: the gratification she gets from “commanding” you just might send her spiraling toward orgasmic bliss.