It’s been on your mind for a while. You want foreplay, but your partner leaps straight to sex every time. For many out there, foreplay is the sprinkles on top of an ice cream sundae: it’s nice sometimes, but isn’t exactly the main attraction.
Like sex, foreplay doesn’t have to happen in the bedroom. In fact, wherever you can squeeze in a casual touch and a kiss, flirtation and foreplay can be found. If you’ve been wanting to incorporate more foreplay into your sex life, here’s four things you can do to get your partner excited too.
Use Body Language
Sometimes all you need is a pinch of flirtation and a dash of sex appeal. When your partner is in the room, use your body language to let them know they’ve got your full attention. Swing your hips when you walk. Throw them a wink after making innuendos about the things you’d love to do for them. Drape yourself on them from time to time, giving a few choice kisses before you get back up.
The point is to touch your partner in a way that is flirtatious without being explicitly sexual.
That way, your partner begins to see touching, kissing, and teasing as fun rather than as a chore they have to do before they can get to the main course.
For some people, the only way to get a message through to them is by being direct. However, that doesn’t mean that talking to your partner about foreplay has to feel like an intervention.
Leave notes for your partner where you know they will find them. Let them know how excited you are for them to get home from work, or how you can’t stop thinking about the last time they gave you head.
Feel free to make the notes as explicit or coy as you desire, and remember to communicate in other ways too. If you took a particularly awesome selfie or your partner has a thing for feet and you just got the perfect pedicure, send them a pic! If you happen to be great at drawing, doodle your partner a little picture of what you want and put it in their purse or briefcase.
Just remember that there’s always a chance someone else might see, so unless that’s a thing for you, plan accordingly!
Watch Porn Together
This piece of advice may ruffle some feathers, but hear me out. If your partner watches porn more than they pay attention to you, the first step may not necessarily be to blow up at them (even though you really want to).
Instead, offer to watch with them. Watching porn with your partner is a great way to not only learn what they are into, but it’s a great opportunity for some raunchy foreplay as well.
Offer to touch them while they relax or ask if they would like you to do anything while they watch. You can challenge your partner to remain focused only on the screen while you go down on them or give them a back massage. If you’re in the mood to tease, point out some on-screen actions that you want to try too.
Watching porn together can be a bit awkward at first, but take a chance and try it. Experiencing something your partner delights in already is a great way of working toward better foreplay.
Have a Talk
When all else fails, sitting down and having a frank conversation with your partner may be necessary. Foreplay is an integral part of the sexual experience, and if you find it missing from your sex life, speak up.
Tell them what kind of activities you want, or let them know that foreplay helps create a more pleasurable experience for you. Let them know how important foreplay is for you.
Once your partner’s interested in incorporating more foreplay into your nightly romp, be open-minded about what foreplay can be. Come up with activities that sound fun to both of you. Give yourselves a bit of time to re-learn what each other is into. You just might find something you like as well.